A Shoe Lover's Quest for Contentment

Sh*t your yoga teacher says: “Just be happy with how you are in the present moment.”

Clearly, the yoga teacher above has never been f*cking shoe shopping….because I don’t think I’ve ever said that. 

There I stood in the middle of the Galleria in Houston, surrounded by world-class stores, with an eager-to-be-swiped credit card, yet absolutely nothing in hand, including the shoes I desperately wanted to find. 

Ever have one of those days? You know what you want, and you’re ready to take action…but in the words of Alexander Hamilton, you’re left “unsatisfied.”

I love fashion, especially shoes. I’m a full-blown shoe girlie, and I have a rule when buying shoes - one in and one out. I try to have only one style/one color of that specific shoe, my loophole is that this rule doesn’t apply to sneakers…😬

I was searching for the perfect new flat for an upcoming event. Here were my rules: no ballet flats, no loafers, no slingbacks, no sneakers….guess what I bought, a whole lotta nothing. So then I was like f*ck it, I need to replace an old pair of very nice black heels, I’ll just do that instead to scratch the new shoe itch - no one had my size.

From the very long walk with no bags in hand from the store to my car, I kept telling myself there had to be a yoga lesson in here somewhere. 

Then I remembered the Niyama, Santosha (or contentment.) As I was frustrated and disappointed while walking back to my car empty-handed with no perfect shoe(s), I remembered as always, happiness is a matter of perspective. Was it really the shoes making me unhappy or my expectation of what I could have had, that clearly didn’t exist?

Santosha reminds us to find peace in the present moment, to embrace the abundance of what it feels like to be alive, curious, and capable of experiencing the world around us without wanting more - or in this case new shoes on my feet. Can I truly be happy, healthy, and live a fulfilling life without my new shoes - the answer is an obvious begrudging “YES.” So my next question that I ask myself is, “Can I really go to this event without a brand new pair of shoes and just wear an old pair?” The answer is also a begrudging “YES.”

No lie, this concept is always a hard one for me to practice, because I do love shopping and shiny new things. Also little side salad story for ya: I stopped into a fave store and eyeballed a bag. With a quick 2 button text I sent the pic to the hubs and was like couldn’t find shoes but you could buy me THIS (*insert gorgeous sequined bag that would add to my collection and look beautiful perched while well-lit in my closet*.) YOU’RE COMING HOME WITH MAMA, I shouted to myself…then I waited and waited and waited… UGH, freaking hubby was in a meeting and strategically never responded to my text….  SHOCKING. 

Even as my shopping adventure felt like a failure, I was reminded I was pursuing the wrong thing, I was pursuing the wrong happiness and seeking the wrong fulfillment and I was leaving myself open to that perfect pair of shoes that makes my eyeballs go 😍 instead of trying to force it. 

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