Deliberate Practice of YES


Who knew the phrase "deliberate practice" even existed?!?! It's crazy because the more I do self-development and inquiry the more I learn there are actual reasons we do things that aren't because "someone told me to." 

I also realized I practice "deliberate practice" A LOT. There are a few areas right now where I am struggling, a few I'm not going to write about, but one that I will..... running.

Omg, running and I are like oil and vinegar. When everything is mixed up together it works great, but over time we end up separating (also, if you know nothing about salad making that example makes no sense). It takes some serious mixing to get me to run, as in it takes longer for me to put on my running shoes and hit the pavement than it does my actual run. But, I am a good runner, it comes naturally because I'm athletic, and though, why are we running? Where am I going? Who am I running from? Dear god DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT put me on a treadmill if you don't want me to yell at you, because it will make me so angry. 

What I'm struggling with right now is to actually run the half marathon I've signed up for in January. The ONLY reason I haven't made an official "I'm backing out" announcement is solely because of peer pressure. Right now with running I'm actually in the "deliberate practice" of: I don't have time to train. Technically I do, BUT technically I don't want to make time for it. Meaning, I don't want to make running a priority. 

What I'm up to in life is saying YES to things that I actually want to say YES to, things that make me feel fulfilled. The medal at the end and the big accomplishment of all of the doubt from running does make me feel fulfilled, but the fight to get there isn't worth the end result. 

The last half marathon I ran, I ran a personal record. I finished in a little over 2 hours (I think it was 2:07), and I want to end on a high to be honest. My body is set up for me to run it. I have the lung capacity, the strength. I need the repetition of practice of turning over my legs on concrete, but I could do it It's just that I keep asking myself, why? Am I just trying to prove something or am I actually fulfilling something that is part of my purpose, and that is where my true "deliberate practice" is coming into play. 

For me, it's time to up-level myself, and that doesn't mean proving to everyone I can run a half-marathon because I already have done it. It means proving that I say YES to what I really want to say YES, we will see if I end up making time to run or not. The problem is I am already gritty, so since I paid, since a bunch of people I know are running, I'll probably run. But, I know now this one will be my last. 

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