April Intention: Self Care
Facial creme masks, mani-pedis, a glass of bubbly in a tub, sitting in a chair with foils in your hair, laying on your back getting your armpits lasered…. These are some things you may have seen associated with “self-care.”
Is this truly self-care?
It’s time to dig a little deeper, get a little more curious, and be a little more courageous with how you define self-care. At YESyoga, self-care is about caring for your YES self. It’s all about your inner bigger YES. Caring for your YES self is defined as deliberately caring for yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally so that you can continue to live your life on purpose.
Who would you be without botox/highlights/wine in the bathtub/(insert your “self-care” thing here)? Answer: The exact same person. It’s not that those are wrong, because they can give you a momentary self-care hit, but it’s all surface level.
It’s the care you need for yourself when you know you could explode at any minute, have too much on your plate, or were triggered when reading a post on social media. Getting a mani-pedi won’t actually care for your inner self with any of these problems. Look, if you truly need a moment of alone time, ask yourself if a mani-pedi is actually what you need. Because you’ll most likely be in a salon full of people, attached to your phone, and if you get mad at someone there, you didn’t actually end up taking care of your need for alone time. You just gave yourself a hit of pretending you had alone time. Also, go get a mani-pedi, but call it what it is. Routine maintenance.
Inner self-care work takes a ton of practice, it is not making an appointment and showing up. Yes, if you quit doing routine maintenance something ends up breaking at some point, but if you are doing true self-care for your YES self your routine maintenance will continue to be a great habit that will continue to support you and your purpose-driven life.
There is a ton of science that talks about how exercise is great for your health. It relieves stress in your body, can help you maintain or lose weight, strengthens your cardiovascular system. You will live longer, happier, we all know it is true. Is exercise self-care for your inner YES self, if you hate it? What about if you over-exercise? Or only do it to hit a number on the scale?
Self-care is personal. Inner self-care is personal. Purposeful living is personal. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, or correct answer for what your self-care should look like.
Here are some questions to ask yourself next time you are trying to decide if what you are doing is self-care?
-Who would I be without (Insert self-care action)?
-What is the impact if I do not implement this self-care action? Is there a bigger action I’m avoiding by not listening to what my inner YES self needs?
-Is there something I need help with? Is there someone I can ask to help me?
-Is there a boundary I need to set?
-What is the outcome of this act of self-care?
-How will I know I achieved the outcome I set out to complete?
-Will this temporarily bring me back to joy or will this actually redirect me to a joyful life?